Saturday, February 8, 2014

trudging Through vile ThINkiNg!

   So as I keep making mistakes some days I remain abstinent from drugs and alcohol to just have a fighting chance at Recovery long term.They say Keep It Simple.Hahaha....easier to say than do.It takes practice and questions at an almost constant and then for me Trust and Faith in My God has to come in almost immediately but I know this as well,Honesty is #1.If I'm not feeling it or I'm disrupted I have to be honest.I so much of the time end up having to make amends for this behavior and it sucks doing so especially if I THINK I'm right and someone else wrong.Im a Junkie that lives with his Mommy.Almost 45 and although guilt and shame do know good it's the reality of where I put myself.My sponsor in A.A. Seems pissed off a good bit of the time but I keep it in the forefront that he has had to put up with me as a sponsee for going on 3 years.I relapsed in that time frame but I'm more vigilant now.No desire to escape,drink,shoot dope or shoot out windows so I would say something is working.God lead the way.PLEASE HELP ME STAY OUT OF THE WAY.No laughter on this sentence cause when Misery and Pain are all you end up living its High Time to stop digging up more holes.Well unless someone's shooting out windows near my Moms Condo.Hahahahaha.........I couldn't resist.Bless it!