Family: Choking Me Internally

You know it's tough just dealing with the recent Dual Diagnosis I received and am just about to fucking Explode if my Mom doesn't stop trying to inflict Her negative controlling rules.Family is hard enough from a distance and just a few times a year let alone when they open their hoarding unorganized home to you and they act like they are the fucking Risen Savior themselves and because they allow you back in their Chicken Coop you are supposed to Bow Down and give them praises.Fucking Please.I don't have to listen to this shit.Then on the first snow of this cold ass year my "ever so loving" Christian mother tells me to get out. Needless to say I am really not shocked.She is so fucking resentful that it's absolutely poisoning to be around here in this home and living couch to couch is easier.She claimed "I will regret it" Well, what's my part? I am praying for release from my new Hell.Being back around this is a trigger.Her poisoning words inflict and I am not willing to tolerate it another Day longer.Im done.God is working with me and He is in Charge.My Mom can go check with him about herself because I have to worry about Me and my Girls.Wish me luck cause the cards are stacked and much of the time it's an Evil trap up.This time it's just time I carry on.Tuesdays Gone- Skynyrd.

Prayer : Gratitude

1.Im grateful to be Alive                                                                     2.Im grateful to be Healthy
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Wishing I Was Not the One Whom Others Depend On

Hey! Bring me that Pick Axe and lets get to WORK!Its only been my whole life i have dodged general labor as much as i could because doing music or some type of creative project has always been more luctrative and was what got all the members in``````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````THE FUCKING DOOR.Gratitude to GOD is what I was missing!All Glory goes to My God FIRST!!!
    Thank you God for Waking me up another Day today.Life is a Gift that i am Grateful for.Thank you God for My Family and my RECOVERY!!!IM graTe FULL so,so,so,so,so,so,so,so,soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo,so,so,so GRATEFUL To BreAth!!!Another day has begun!En Los Manos Del Dios.

#recovery, #gratitude, #klloyd, #dirtkicker,

SICKNESS OF THE WORST KIND: Gratitude

My name is k.lloyd and i am an addict/alcoholic.THese past few 24 hrs have been rough indeed.I made a choice when i was in Georgia and hit an Emotional Bottom quickly after walking away from AA and my long term Recovery support team and program to get back on opiate assisted treatment called Methadone.It is a drug for sure.It seemed the right solution at a time when i was struggling to get back on track after Relapsing when my pink cloud burst.I got into a relationship too soon for sure as well.Although now engaged to this woman it was a troubling time and i have been still suffering the repercussions of my decisions and desire to have an easier softer way.I am now quickly decreasing my amount of Methadone medication for 2 reasons.One is im going to Europe to tour in early April.Two is i dont wanna be on it but the truth is i feel im doing this too rapidly.Mental Health inpatient is whom brought me down so quickly.I am not fighting or disputing their decision.I cant go back up if im going to complete a mini tour of k.lloyd opening for Joe Buck Yourself.Roadburn is a given but i also must complete a changeover to a medicine called Subutex to be able to get through this upcoming April tour.Buzzov-en and k.lloyd both are going to be great shows and i am excited to unleash my new k.lloyd songs upon a hungry crowd as well as turn the faucet on high with buzzov-en.It has been a difficult path but with help from good friends like Jeff Clayton(Antiseen),Scott Kelly(Neurosis) and Walter Roadburn i believe in this trip coming.I believe in myself.My wife(GF)Simerly has been a saving Grace throughout all of this and of whom i would like to thank most of all for her patience and willingness to LOve the Man that is Rev.Dirtkicker aka: k.lloyd aka Kirk.My Mom too.Without these 2 women whom knows where or what state of mind i would be?Im no sure but i do know im still en los manos del dios.

My Roots In Recovery + Music = Glory and Grace = Reverend Kirk

What a day! As Billy Graham says in His nightly meditation for Jan.7 Said to have "A spirit of Thankfulness and Yes Lord "I Do" said Kirk Lloyd Fisher.So much good stuff happened today i lost track! Godwinks is something i firmly believe in.                                                                                                                                                                        hhjhuuyuyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyuujhjjhhjhjhjjjuuuuuuuuuuuuyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyuyyuttttttttttttttttttttttttyt. WTF??????? 

Okay i also strolled back through my home front that i spent to soon yet not enough time in called HH.For legal and anonymous reasons i spent up being to honest an forthcoming with a testimony about My New Path.Everything is in His plan.God we want a new puppy!!!

+ k.lloyd + : The Future Of Kirk aka Rev.Dirtkicker

So as i make my way to the end of another great day i feel blessed to the HILT!! Johnny Cash has always been my hero and He even more so is at this time in my life.Johnny was a Man Of God. I am that as well.Even though my comments and article on my spirituality were recently dissected and considered "Uncool" by an online magazine called Cvlt Nation. I respect their opinion but i was fully misunderstood. God can be simply Good Orderly Direction.God is a subject very personal to me and i was mistaken to use GOD i guess.I have been watching  Slow Southern Steel the movie tonite and it has been fairly obvious whom of my Close Friends are why they are my closest which include Jimmy Bower,Mike IX Williams and other EHG boys as well as my new guitarist Zach Hembree of Music Hates You.These fellows are all very intensely close friends and i am super stoked about buzzov-ens upcoming headlining appearance at Roadburn Apr.10 and then the appearance of + k.lloyd + at Afterburner April 13. The 13th being the biggie for myself personally. My personal allegiance to the Son of God is profound now. It is a spiritual one.As Noah from MHU said "Its my own personal thing"! I also have a new cd coming out with Jimmy Bower,Earl Jr. and Brian Patton performing on it. Its called "Bootleg Volume One" Its DOC Music #1 and #2 will come out in late March/April.Called "solow". Anyway i am hard at work on a book about McAfee Ct. Kennesaw Ga. and mY Love and Redemption through a pitbull that was my dog because of my Girlfriend Simerly Cook.More info on all these projects coming soon.
"Bootleg Volume One" will be done by Jan.22 and orders that were recieved will ship after that.The pre-orders that were recieved with other merchandise orders like buzzov-en products etc....are waiting for the completion of The k.lloyd cd.
 On another good note, + k.lloyd + will open for Weedeater at The Earl inkooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooookkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk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Mental Health : Challenges of A Manic Reverend

So it has been a minute since i have wrote a My New Path article and just so many of you know,i am hard at work on my 3rd solo recording under the name + k.lloyd + aka Rev. Dirtkicker. We have so much going on over here at our new residence and home base back in Charlotte-Mecklenburg NC that its all overwhelming for myself to say the least.Im working on some new songs.Paintings.New woodworking jobs and dozens of constructive good things.There are so many positive projects i start on but u i have untreatreated ADHD because i am a Recovering Addict/ Alcoholic and cannot take Amphhetamines because of their destructive effect on my drug addled system and Allergic reaction to all mood and mind altering substances of ANY KIND! Some days i get very angry and bitter because of my inability to even enjoy a simple beer or a few addys etc.....but i am purely an Addict who wishes to Recover more than i desire to escape and or self-destruct today!Still makes staying clean and sober just a bit of a chore today! Anyway i have to get some rest right now.My apologies to those whom have not recieved their orders from buzzovenmerchandise.bigcartel.com. Please coninue to Personal Message me as we work out our lost files etc....... Thanks, Kirk (DOC Music) 

Here is our new style of buckle guitar straps with heavy solid brass buckle with nickel plating, adjustable from 48" to 57". Got a few more non leather straps coming up also. #customleather #guitarstrap #leather #madeinusa #guitar

Here is our new style of buckle guitar straps with heavy solid brass buckle with nickel plating, adjustable from 48" to 57". Got a few more non leather straps coming up also. #customleather #guitarstrap #leather #madeinusa #guitar, a photo by Rusty Knuckles on Flickr.

Kick ass straps by our friends over at Rusty Knuckles. Good stuff for Hard Workin Honest Folks!!!! - + k.lloyd +