Insanity from another perspective

You know im just not sure where to really start here.If You know me or Youve read this Blog at all is blatantly obvious,at least i would think,that i struggle with the disease of addiction.So anyway ive been in an on going process for years but way more involved for the past couple months with Rehab/Recovery House/Detox etc...Anyway ive always known that i got loaded cause i couldnt deal with how i felt and everything but damn if ever saw such a cluster fuck of a person who supposedly is in Recovery.I mean this dude would make a crackhouse look tame when hes only turned up to like level 6 if you get what im saying.Im in the woods outside of Charlotte in a house with an insane country ass queer whos supposed to be helping me get well!!I dont feel very positive to say the least.Maybe this is my Karma for the drama ive caused in others lives fuck i dont know but it seems i cant get away from the chaos even trying to get to place of changing my life.Its a scenario that is so hard to put into words.I mean hey ive been on the road with the likes of the Mentors,GWAR,EHG,and led a crazy fucking existence and this dude and this situation is making my jaw hang open and say "damn"!!I keep asking myself what do i do?When will it end?etc....etc......but for now im here so let the show go on.......