Mood Swing Mayhem

  So since having a complete nervous breakdown that landed me in the psyche ward not once but 2 times in December of 2013. I feel like im starting to feel a twinkling of balance and feel like maybe now i can put some sense of order into my future days.There is an abundance of ideas i have for doing various projects but honestly i have a very difficult time finding where or how to start some of these.Whether it be due to finances,schedules of other bandmates,physical or mental limitations i just wish that things came as easy as it seems for so many others and i could actually get some of this stuff done or at least having them as "works in progress." Im so envious of some of some of my peers because it seems after making their start around the same time as me ,or in some cases WITH me. When i met someone whom i felt a common bond with and really liked i did what i could do to help them,or should i say spread their exposure. My years of touring in buzzoven,especially the earlier ones,brought me into contact with many people.EyeHateGod was one whom had not been out of their hometown(NOLA) much at all. After witnessing their intensely awesome bluesy hardcore sound i was convinced the world needed to hear this band.It was not a situation of asking bands to come open for buzzoven like we were the BIG headlining act, It was more of an attempt of uniting two bands whom had a common bond and respect for each other and enjoyed hanging out together through the antics of life on tour. Needless to say EHG has become a force to be reckoned with and although both buzzoven and EHG had their similar elements ,we both were the pioneers of a new heavy "Sludge" sound.I think its amazing that they are getting such a great response to their long anticipated new s/t album.
    On the flipside of this subject im speaking of is the friends who stepped away from selling their soul to music and living and breathing their bands more than full time obligations.The guy who now owns his own business and has married a beautiful woman and has a kid or two. Or maybe that person that has to just stay away from the whole environment to hold on to his sanity or even sobriety.I can think of one individual whom literally hung his guitar up and changed into a golf shirt and khakis literally overnight and never looked back. So many people have made different choices for just as many different reasons.
    I know for myself that i have a hard time separating the will to self destruct from the heart,soul and rage i put into writing and performing 2-ens music.Trust me in the light of the overwhelmingly great responses our early 90's peers such as Sleep,EYEHATEGOD and even a rumored return of Acid Bath are getting the time is never more than right.But is it right for me?Obviously it was earlier this year when i was forced to cancel our Roadburn appearance due to Mental Health Illness.I was dissapointed as i know many of you were as well.
    I feel like im just weak,hopeless and lost without playing music but "HOW" do i remain sane and sober in that hostile environment? 

    On the Flipside ,I have been tracking new songs for my 3rd full length release under my k.lloyd persona.Slated to be released on Rusty Knuckles Music as soon as I get it completed.Im excited about this because my 2 previous CDs have been shadowed with little promotion and not even appropriate release.Im thinking of putting together a heavier lineup to take k.lloyd beyond the acoustic mellow tone to full fledged heavy distortion.Only time will tell.

     Regardless I am still here.Im stilll playing and writing music.I have Faith what full path I am to take with live performances as well as completing some other endeavors I have had on the back burner will present itself in due time.                                   
  

Dirtkicker: Service Announcements #1

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6adlztNKkHE&feature=youtube_gdata_player

MercerRock: Posters and More

http://mercerrock.com/post/61536602026/on-the-press-doooooooooom

R.I.P. Mike Boone:Another Close Friend Passes Away

Yeah i dont have a whole lot to say.I like what Mike Williams (EHG) said to me recently "it stinks of death everywhere and im fucking sick of it....."  I think that sums it up well.I am so saddened that both Mike and Joey were great guys and never really harmed or hurt anyone.They both had lovely daughters whom are without a father now.It just sucks when this happens to someone whom is in reasonably good health and is obviously too young to die.I especially feel bad for others i know who are experiencing a great deal of emotional pain from their loss of such a close friend.I wish i could ease their pain somehow but i cant.I offered to help out with getting things accomplished with raising some funds for Mikes family as they will have expenses that they were not expecting and one great thing about the underground music community is we pull together and help out those whom need help or maybe dont need it or havent even asked for help it just seems right to do.Knowing that the well being of especially a child whom just lost their parent,well its going to take money to support them still and even just a little to help through the initial shock of their parents death goes a long way.I have said a few things to other of my closest friends and im going to repeat myself here.We are all getting older by each day that passes.I know that my 44 year old body doesnt feel the same as it used too.Im also trying and being more aware of what i put my body through daily and also what i dont/do consume into my system.Its no secret that i am an Addict.I have struggled with addiction for many years now.There have been many times i should have died for sure.I know though that if i try and do those things i used to do that the odds of it killing me or impairing me permanently are much greater now than when i was younger. My point being that even though im almost for sure that Mike was not doing drugs nor am I saying that his death was anything even remotely caused by Alcohol.iIts just that as we all from the earlier days of playing and being involved in the Heavy/Sludge/Doom/Metal or whatever label you wanna put on it music scene get up in our mid 40s there are going to be some of us pass away from various ailments or suprise type incidents whether its a heart attack or a car crash its gonna suck and be hard to deal with.My own mission is to treat my body a bit better.For me im not putting mind and mood altering chemicals in it any longer but im eating coffee cake at 2 am as I type this.I have been eating way too much and though better than the drugs still not healthy.A pack of Marlboros a day, little exercise and eating cheeseburgers and cake are not going to ensure a long happy  life. I guess im just worried at least for me that im gonna pass too soon but really every day is borrowed time because the way I was livin and running wild I should have been dead long ago.Mike Boone you were loved.Your Wilmington family has shown am incredible amount of unity in the shadow of your untimely death.I guess I find the beauty in  the fact that so much good has come from horrible pain, sadness and loss. It has shown how a small southern coastal community takes care of and honors their own. Mike Boone you were loved and you are missed.I am just thankful for the fact that for a short time in my life I also called Wilmington NC my home and one guy whom was always around and helped my life and greeted me with a hug and a smile no matter what I had done or was going through you would  lend an ear or even buy me a beer.Mike if I can live out my remaining days and just be half as kind and caring as you were All The Time I will feel I have become a better man.Rest In Peace Old Friend.See ya on the other side!      :*)

Buzzov*en interview by Chris Ayers from 2010.

http://www.tumblr.com/share/link? Buzz*en - http://exclaim.ca/Interviews/WebExclusive/buzzoven

buzzoven - Maryland Deth Fest

                                                                                   So im attempting to load this cause i think its good footage of this show.At least i can see i was still awake for the first two songs.This was one weekend i want to forget.It will all be told soon.Ive got almost a whole chapter of the book im working on dedicated to my antics this weekend.The rest of the band left after we played on Thursday night.They rolled out at like 11 am in think and i stayed on the floor in Scott Bryants Motel Room.We only had our two rooms for the night of the show.Neurosis and C.O.C played on that Friday night both playing great sets.Kylesa played a good one as well.I believe Nuclear Assault was one of the rowdiest for crowd reaction.I was around some at the fest but i spent equal or more time in some areas of Baltimore that its a miracle i didnt get murdered carrying wads of cash and dropping it all the time.Well it was what it was.I made it out alive and im never going down those back alleys and into those abandoned buildings ever again.Damn the memories of it are so clear.  :(

Randy Blythe (Lamb of God) :I Never Saw This Interview

Randy Blythe:buzzoven roadie 

     When buzzoven moved from Charlotte to Richmond Virginia we had a large group of various characters we hung out with.That was the main reason for the move.We were literally unwelcome by most venues in Charlotte usually on account of my blackout drunk episodes.Richmond seemed to be a town full of people just a little more over the top and crazy like we were.I remember first meeting Randy at the warehouse space we rented and lived in across from The Metro.Im pretty sure Brian met him and had brought him over.His band Burn The Priest was good but a little more on the metal side at the time wasnt what i really was into.In all fairness i never really gave them much of a listen.My loss for sure.Later on in our time living in Richmond i shared a small shitty apartment in the Fan area on Grace St. Pat Vigil who was also our roadie and backup singer would sit on the front porch with Randy and they would get hammered drunk and harrass the passerbys wit some sort of shenanigans.Once they had a weelchair and Pat would push Randy and they would act like he tipped the wheelchair over and passing cars would stop and jump out to help.They were always up to some kind of mischief.Randy came on some tours with us but usually would jump ship after a few shows to go train hopping.I have an assortment of storys but i will save them for another time.I have alot of respect for Randy.Hes a damn good guy and he is an incredible artist.He has definately come a long way from those days drinking on the porch.Im glad that he was able to get that crap he was charged with dismissed.He is the type of guy who helps people out when he can.Anyway heres to Randy Blythe and his days loading gear for Buzzoven.So maybe he could give me a job now to return the favor.Hahaha.......Just kidding.Go check this interview out its a great one.                                                              http://noisecreep.com/lamb-of-god-interview-avoiding-bandmates-until-tour

Tribute to Buzzoven comp.:Unfit to Consume

From Cymera. So this is 2 cds of covers of buzzoven songs by various bands.Kylesa and Church of Misery.Duktalon and countless others.Can the bands email me that did a song and possibly get me another master copy? I wasnt going to get involved w it but its a shame these bands spent their own cash to record only to get shit on by sleeping village record label joke Matt King.I Apologize for this happening.He fucked me as well never distributing my k.lloyd "solow" cd and never allowing me to get the copies.it would be great for this to get released.Some label has to be willing.Anyway heres a loud FUCK YOU to Matt King!!!!