When Will I.............?

Back and forth as the circle of our individual miserys and dissapointments swirl we lash our tongues at all hours of all days in all ways that are to us not unknown.Raised in an environment of shit and hate its easy to lie here comfortable wallowing in mine and your self hate!Attempts to medicate the shame away only work for a second in a seemingly endless day!The irresponsibility in your unnurturing ways ring so loudly in a dissapointing offspring that is wasting away.But who am i to throw a stone? i cant even motivate and execute a simple plan to wake up and make my way to shake the pain of just getting through the day.WHAT??What did you say??You mumble as you degrade me in your special way!OH okay i can reciprocate and play that game.Its in the misery of others that i can fill up my day!What a joke when i call this change!Daydreaming and good intentions wont wash that misery away.Let me pop this pill and see if it will help in even a small way.Those fucking doctors just cant get my treatments arranged in just the right way.If they and the others would see it my way,then maybe just maybe id be happy for maybe one second of one day!!But it doesnt really matter.No matter what happens i need a little misery cause its where i feel sane.If i couldnt feel the anger id have no one to blame.I swear i want to find a better,peaceful way.But all i really know is your misery and my pain!!