Have a drink on me!

As many know its mardis grai in NOLA right now and i wish i was there as many of my friends are.Buzzoven played Checkpoint Charlies for the first time in early 90s and me and the owner agreed that each year the sat.b4 Fat Tuesday would be buzzoven nite forever and i could book any bands we wanted and run the whole day and nite and we had some awesome shows each year.sour vein became a usual and after the final 98 show i believe in 99 it was billed for that nite as usual but Dixies other band weedeater showed up and didnt announce they werent buzzo..untill they started their set.Its my understanding that T~roy and sour vein as well as weedeater have kept the sat.night tradition going even 2 this day.I do miss bein there and its possible u might witness a reunion of sorts in 2010 of buzzoven at mardis gras as im also planning a k~lloyd and the disciples gig at another venue during mardis gras if everyones schedule permits.well have to wait and see. Ive had some amazing crazy times at mardis gras!

FRUSTRATION IN ALL AREAS.......

It just seems like nothing is coming together these days!Besides lifes usual problems like no money to pay the rent or the power bill i just cant find a moment of peace to set down and play and write or enjoy my favorite pastime-MUSIC!My main acoustic is in the pawn shop and needs to be paid on to avoid loss of it.Which trust me i will not lose another chosen important gtr.Ive lost so many its pathetic.I try to stay positive and do the next right thing but damn its hard sometimes.The "solow" cd will be coming out soon on Sleeping Village Records but i really wanted to complete mixing all the songs i did in NOLA with Jimmy Bower,Earl and B.Patton but the funds to get down there just arent there and for this fact alone i feel like im failing.It will get done i know but i wanted that record to be the Debut release as they call it.But fuck it i am grateful that any of it will see the light of day.I know that if i would move to NOLA that this shit would have been done ages ago.I just felt that moving there wasnt in my best interest in regards to my own path staying sober!

Anyway i guess this is all me venting!!Not great reading material im sure but hey this is my blog and there is no set guideline and this is where im at!!If i went to many other areas of my life id sound like a whiny bitch and thats not me!!

Hopefully with persistence things will come together for my trip to NOLA to finish the work on "purepainblues"and its possible that a cd ep will come out soon of the 4-5 songs that are semi finished and mixed!!We will see.

I dont remember all of this stuff with planning etc.....being so difficult back in the buzzoven days but we also had a little more money to work with and i had some help from my bandmates and lets face facts,I was just a little HIGH!!!!!

So another day ill trudge forward and hopefully make some progress in getting things in order in my own house so that then ill be able to more fully approach and deal with these things.If im moving forward at all its a good thing!!RIGHT???

Dont Let Love DIE!!

Im letting my mind and heart relax now.The development of a sitiuation that is based in total dysfunction is not a path to a healthy way of living and co-existing with ones you love.Love alone should be enough to conquer this virus in many american homes and familys but as the past has proven it is not enough.When you dont have anything sane and normal to build on why wouldnt one expect complete chaos and dysfunction??Please i ask you to open your mind and open your eyes to that beast that WILL destroy you!I will not stand by and cosign this virus of emotion.There is no try there is only DO!Oh please my god,come help me!COME HELP HER!!Please come help us to see what must be done.What can we change??I ask you Lord to open the minds and spirit of whom i speak and also open mine as im just as sick of those i seek!My higher power will have to guide these days and keep my Love out front because resentment,anger and shame will creep right through the vines of my mind and tweak every nerve till i lose all control and run deeper back inside.Oh my dear,my dear what will you find?Face it and i promise we will come out on a better side.Dont face it and that wonderous Love will surely DIE!!

I am with you,i am with you.i am right here by your side!As you venture back into what you must divide,conquer and rise,i'll be with you in spirit at least, cause your journey will not be mine.But also know that the path you take,if you tap your strength and no matter what do rise,will surely cross into my venture in this day to tap back into light!I do not claim that i have reached this place where we will meet,but i hope and pray that we both have the strength to face the pain that infects our otherwise sunny days!It can be done i know it can.If we really go forward into the sun i want you to know im with you as that pains increase
d.I do hope that this Love can survive.Its not warm in the lonely isolated mind.

Im resting now!Im hoping for HOPE to stay alive.Im praying as well.I do realize that a higher wisdom is what will have to guide us both to a better self awareness and the strength to not let this dysfunction take over and just copletely divide!Please oh Lord help me,help her and especially help us!!I want my Love to regain its shine!!!!!