Out In South Carolina

Well ive been staying out in the boonies of S.Carolina for the past few weeks since coming back from the Buzzoven East coast tour and a few k.lloyd shows here and there.Anyway i must say the peace and serenity(as well as no known dealers)have made my struggle with staying sane while being more clean alot easier.One day as i rebuild my shattered life i hope to be able to have something like this to call my own as im only renting a spare room in someone elses house.Its so cool the quiet and just serene feeling that you this area of the country in the country exhudes.The only chaos and confusion is in my good ole brain but hey i have good days and bad days.For those of you who are just getting introduced to my blog i welcome you and want to say i usually have always been pretty out front and public with my being fucked up.Still am in the head but not even close in the abuse of substances anymore.This blog wont be strictly on this subject but it will be touched on many,many times im sure in the coming future as it has in the past.On that note not alot to say today accept its been an ok day and i hope that it continues that way.Anyway welcome to my page of meaningless ramblings and thoughts as well as road stories as my schedule is thickening again with both buzzov-en and k.lloyd in full swing.Wanted to come clean on the fact that i was a nervous wreck befor that first buzzov-en show in Charlotte after not performing anything but k.lloyd on occasions in 12 years.I must admit my balls grew back to normal and now their swinging.Lets just see if i can continue to build some healthy confidence.Sorry if some of this sound all self-help gay and shit but man ive put myself(and many around me)through absolut hell in the past days especially around buzzoven and im trying to become a better man,son and person so i guess get over it or call me sappy"i really dont give a fuck"Not lookin for attention just wanna share this stuff with those of you that can relate and tell that one person out there still in"HELL"that you can break free but it aint easy and its day to day.Ok imm gonna shut up.Later Ya'all!!kirklloyd

Balls Growing Bigger!!

I know a stupid title huh??Well its the only way i can describe the feeling of how it was AFTER we completed the first Buzzov-en show in Charlotte at The Tremont.I was so hemmed up backstage and nervous i was "wound up tighter than a ticks ass" my good buddy and Bassist Dixie Dave said.I guess the good thing about all of it is it shows myself how important it is to me that things went well and the crowd got what they came for.I mean i heard everything from people were placing bets that i wouldnt show up to we would sound like shit because we had not and would not rehearse etc....etc....and if nothing else i was ready to show those fucks whos back from the dead.Well you know what i mean.So needless to say after a long fucking day we got on stage in Charlotte and i think put on a pretty damn good show.

Adventures in Feeling True Emotion Again!

As i drift slowly back into life without being constantly NUMB its not been so easy but its definately becoming more tolerable and i still have no desire to return to complete personal hell!It is difficult removing certain things from your life though and even more difficult disconnecting from people you love but just really are not healthy to be around.Old habits are hard to break!!Ive become an employed member of society and even though it passes the hours and provides a little $$$ i remember why i took up touring and music to get away from this mundane day to day existence.Its whats best for now though i guess.
Sometime in late May ill be travelling to Wilmington to rehearse with Ramzi and "Dixie"Dave for upcoming buzzov-en shows this fall and needless to say im excited but also a little fearful of this upcoming venture.There is a struggle in me to pursue my old love and life of this band.Im not the same man i was for sure but i think maybe the rage and energy i had when i first started the band is where im back to in a way.Which is fine but i cannot and will not follow the path i took personally from the years being in buzzov-en.Im excited to play some heavy music again but its gonna be diffrent.I guess we will see where the new tunes take us.
But at the same time im continuing my love of acoustic/outlaw country,etc...with my k.lloyd venture.Ive got 2 songs me and Jimmy Bower and Earl Jr.did while i was in NOLA the last time that are really good and i think will come out under the name GATOR.Its The Disciples and i still have a full length record of all k.lloyd songs with those cats from NOLA backing me which gave my songs a much needed shot in the arm.HAHA.......!I lookl forward to getting back down there to do some more songs with those guys hopefully real soon.Its funny how so many cool things have happened and ive made some pretty decent music over these past years but not of it never really took flight.Hopefully after doing the buzzov-en shows this fall it will mnopen the door to get k.lloyd and Gator more out there and available for people to hear.Ill be doing more k.lloyd shows fer sure.
Well im planning to stay on this new path im on and hopefully ill find the time to get more into writing and also working on the book ive beenplanning of old road tales and i guess a memoir of sorts.I will certainly try as its something ive aalways loved but just like anything else its getting started on it most of the time thats difficult.But once i start ill do it and do more,and more,and more...........!!Untill next time Later,kirklloyd